![]() ![]() Accordingly, regret persists in precisely those situations in which opportunity for positive action remains high. First, where opportunity is denied, or where problematic circumstances are inevitable, processes of cognitive dissonance, rationalization, and reconstrual are engaged that either terminate or substantially mitigate the experience of regret. There are two reasons for this counterintuitive finding. Feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment are strongest where the chances for corrective reaction are clearest. ![]() An impressive range of findings support this idea, and a major goal of this article is to apply this principle to an understanding of what we regret most. ![]() Why might this be so? We argue that one answer to this question may be derived from a variety of recent findings that converge on the principle that opportunity breeds regret. But why should this particular ranking occur? Indeed, that education appears as the number one regret of Americans is a remarkably consistent finding across these studies (e.g., should have stayed in school, should have studied harder, should have gotten another degree). In the meta-analytic summary that follows, we see that Americans’ six biggest regrets fall into the following life domains (in descending order of frequency): education, career, romance, parenting, self-improvement, and leisure (see Figure 1). A handful of publications have taken a different approach, that of content analyzing regrets to give an indication of where in life regrets persist. The vast majority of research on regret has focused on structural properties, such as the distinction between regrets of inaction versus action, and on the effects of anticipated and felt regret on decision making. Regret feels bad because it implies a fault in personal action: You should have done it differently, hence self-blame is a component of regret ( Connolly & Zeelenberg, 2002). Regret has been defined as a negative emotion predicated on an upward, self-focused, counterfactual inference ( Gilovich & Medvec, 1995 Zeelenberg, 1999). Third, we offer new laboratory evidence that builds a bridge between these two previously separate bodies of work. By opportunity, we mean an open rather than closed door to further action in the service of correction, advancement, and betterment, defined in terms of the individual’s perception of situational features or personal talents that enable such pursuit. Second, we account for why this ranking occurs by pointing to an opportunity principle, apparent in several lines of recent research that have not previously been summarized together. ![]() Accordingly, we present a meta-analysis of these findings using a 12-category framework of life domains this framework is also used in our laboratory studies. First, several previous studies have reported rankings of people’s biggest regrets in life, but until now there has not been an integrative summary of those findings. This article addresses these questions in three ways. When looking across life as a whole, what do people regret most? Which aspects of life, career versus romance, school versus children, spirituality versus money, come most vividly to mind, perhaps to haunt the individual for extended periods of time? And why? Recent research on regret has pinpointed numerous cognitive consequences, including effects on blame, expectancies, superstition, suspicion, and ongoing behavior ( Connolly & Zeelenberg, 2002 Roese, 1997, 2005). You could have done it differently … should have said something else … and you might have come out ahead. Some go well, some go wrong, and those gone wrong spell regret. A life lived is a life replete with choices. ![]()
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